7 years ago...I was in a similar state to that which I am now...very nervous about the unknown, feeling a bit (okay a lot unprepared) and realising some things just need to be tossed to one side because it will all be okay on the day even if not quite going totally to plan.
That was 2 sleeps before my Wedding...tonight its 2 sleeps before my first real market...I am very behind with sewing (monkeys!) terribly frightened about it all and to boot my labels haven't arrived...bit of a mix up with the supplier (though his solution has exceeded every expectation) ;) so we are going nude to market on Sunday ;) haha well the tshirts are :)
Today I made flip flops, a Pelican and a new totally original (well least I hope as it came to me whilst I was folding laundry ;) ) design (in fact 4 altho it looks like only 1 will come to market! ;)
I am panicking somewhat that I dont do 10 of each design in every size up to 6, that my stall isnt pristeen and that haha I am not going to get a haircut or new wardrobe before Sunday... I am also feeling for my oh so tolerant Husband (of nearly 7 years ;) ) and children and of course friends...who are patiently putting up with my stress, hermit and irrational behaviour and totally inexplicable addiction to fabric, applifix and stitching;)
One of my dearest friends reiterated something I know that I dont do anything by half...everything I get passionate about...um has a tendency to take over ;)
A huge worry too has been my outstanding custom orders...but thankfully my wonderful customers have been very patient...(beyond any reasonable doubt) and I cant wait to get them completed for everyone this month.
I bought a year planner this week and am going to yet again try and contain my inability to say no and my desire to please all...and try to stick to a 'doable' 3-5 customs a month and then have time to create as and when it pleases me...life balance as a FIFO wife (fly in fly out) and full time mother of 3 monkeys who are 5 and under is something I embrace with gusto (when I can) but haha truth is it is hard ;) and impossible to explain to those that havent done it ;) add to that no 'family' to help out and friends in similar situations...and yes sometimes haha I am climbing the walls ;)
I would love to have my Father by my side on Sunday as he was 7 years ago...to guide me and to hold my hand...but I know if I close my eyes a little bit and dream a little dream he will be there even if he is really asleep in Somerset, England ;) I can hear him saying 'Yes Dear' as I ramble and can giggle as I hear him and my husband lay 5 quid bets on which of us 'women' will rise to the other first ;) He would love Made on The Left a ceramic designer by trade he also has taught and inspired children for 35 years, and still designs and draws and paints. I remember as a child going to craft fairs and exhibitions with him and seeing him a very modest man, smile and have that twinkle in his eye as people admired what he had poured his heart into...
I saw many twinkles and smiles 7 years ago on Sunday as I walked down the aisle, as I took my vows and partied with all my friends and family, they could see my heart had been won and that I was pouring everything I had into this one special man...who despite my artistic flaws and at times unpredictable temperament loves me unconditionally...still...he deserves the orange box of fizz that he came home with on Tuesday for after the markets...as do you all :) and if there is any left over this Monkey wouldnt mind a sip or two...to say bottoms up and cheers...
The 10th of July the day of Made on The Left is even more poignant to me as it is also 4 years since my beloved Granny Dot passed away...the hardest thing about being so far from home...is...that sometimes you dont get to say goodbye...and you dont get to thank them for loving you and for being the Matriarch of an amazing extended family who helped so much to shape your world so wonderfully...
So as I either celebrate a good market day with that special fizz or commiserate a shocker ;) as I thank my husband for loving me, for holding my hand through thick and thin I will also be raising a glass to a grand lady who said what she wanted whether you liked it or not, never did things by halves, and smiled with her eyes, had the softest skin in the world and was truly an inspiration :)